Waterview Walk
Docklands, VIC, Australia
39.2° F (4° C)
I couldn't sleep. I have been working on an urgent issue with the Boston office during the last week and I had to synchronize my work hours with Boston. I needed to get back to my "normal" hours, but my body wouldn't listen to me. I was wide awake... and hungry. I wipped out my trusty ramen and started cooking... then it suddenly dawned on me... if I were to die tomorrow, all things ramen I had mastered over the decades of consumption would be lost (if I do indeed die tomorrow, tons of instant ramen I had consumed probably had something to do with it). For the sake of humanity, I thought I would pass on my wisdom so that people would benefit for generations to come.
Cooking
The ideal way is to cook the noodles separately from the soup... which I almost never do... to get rid of the shelf-life-extending light oil coating the instant noodle. When the noodles are done (definition of done depends on your preference), transfer the noodles into boiling pot of water with soup base for at least 30 seconds before consumption. Oh, yeah... while cooking, if your stomach can't handle the acidity (usually due to the large amount of alcoholic refreshments from previous night), crack open an egg and dump it in 30 seconds before the ramen comes off the stove. Mix it well for better acid absorption.
The Cleanup
If you're in a hotel, dormitory, or a corporate apartment without a proper garbage disposal unit in the sink, you can't just throw out the remnants of what you thought might make a satifying wholesome meal into the sink and hope for the best. Here's what you do. Squirt some dish washing liquid (hotel shampoo or any liquid soap will do) and a bit of water into the remaining soup. Mix well... then dump it into the toilet. Yes, the toilet. Believe me. Your toilet had to endure much larger and funkier stuff than instant ramen soup with soap. Don't forget to mix the soap BEFORE you throw it in there though. Otherwise, the soup/oil mix will cling on to your toilet bowl.
Oh yeah... Did I mention instant ramen is BAD for your health? Ramen should come with a large gruesome picture similar to those that adorn the cigarette packs in Australia and Singapore... except this one would have fat belly or gruesome cellulite on thighs.




2 comments:
hahaha, never thought about the toilet for disposal. that's a good one. thanks sam :)
Hey, Shan. No worries (that's what they say down here instead of "you're welcome"). Make sure soap is mixed in well before you pour it down the toilet bowl. That soup can cling on like drunk prostitute on a slow night... though... I never had the pleasure, I was just thinking a drunk prostitute on a slow night would cling on like the soup of instant noodle to a clean white toilet bowl... oh wait... infinite recursion...
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